Powerful Co-active Coaching Questions

Assessment


• What do you make of it?

• What do you think is best?

• How do you feel about it?

Clarification

• What is the part that is not yet clear?

• How can you help me to understand more about it?

• What concerns you the most about it?

Elaboration

• What can you tell me about it?

• What other ideas/thoughts/feelings do you have about it?

• What else is happening?

Evaluation

• What is the opportunity here? What is the challenge?

• How does this fit with your plans?

• What is your assessment?

Example

• What is an example?

• How do you demonstrate this?

• What have you done in the past?

Exploration

• What do you want to explore further?

• What part of the situation have you not yet explored?

• What are your other options?

Learning

• What would you do differently in the future?

• What did you learn from this?

• What could you have done to have handled the situation better?

Inquiry

• What caused it?

• What led up to it?

• What have you tried so far?

Implementation

• What is the action plan?

• What will you have to do to get the job done?

• What will you do?

Integration

• What will you take away from this?

• How can you make sure you remember what you have learned?

• How would you pull all this together?

Outcomes

• What is your desired outcome?

• What do you want?

• How will you know you have achieved it?

Planning

• What do you plan to do about it?

• What kind of plan do you need to create?

• What could you do to improve the situation?

Substance

• What seems to be the main obstacle?

• What seems to be the trouble?

• What is stopping you from moving forward?


Extract from Co-active Coaching, 2nd Edition

TALKING Technique for Assertiveness

T A L K I N G

TALKING describes a 7 step process for handling problems in an assertive way. These are:

T – Tell the person what your issue/concern is, from your perception, and what impact it has e.g. on the performance of the individual, team, organisation. Where appropriate, relate to job expectations, duties and
responsibilities OR Policies, Systems and Procedures.

A – Ask the person what their perception of the situation is e.g. what do you think about that? Find out what is the root of the problem, (usually the poor attitude/behaviour is a symptom of the root problem).

L – Listen (actively) to what the person has to say, and reflect on where they are coming from, how they see the situation, what are the specific barriers?

K – Know exactly what the facts of the problem/issues are, from both points of view, before moving forward.

I – Identify the best way forward, exploring options and what positive impact this will have on the situation.

N – Note when you had the meeting, date, informal, formal, what was agreed.

G – Go forward with the best possible solution for the long-term solution and to build effective working relationships.

 
 
By Claire Murray

Purpose of Evaluating Performance

 Monitor progress

 Highlight areas for development

 Address issues/concerns

 Meeting role expectations

 Meeting expected standards

 Achieving goals

 Identify systems/processes for improvement

 Acknowledge good performance

 Sets and reviews targets


By Claire Murray

Purpose of Goal Setting

 To get desired results

 To hold yourself accountable

 Take action

 Monitor & evaluate progress

 Improve performance

 Set standards

 Aim to work towards

 Timescale to do it

 Goals should be SMART

Positives of Working Together

 Joint Problem Solving

 Positive Collaborations

 More and better ideas

 Work towards a common goal

 Builds good working relationships

 Strengthens the team

 Achieve more

 Improved productivity

 Improved efficiencies

Engaging Your Employees

 Listen effectively

 Ask open questions

 Encourage involvement & contribution

 Encourage joint problem solving

 Take their ideas on board

 Invest in their development

 Encourage good team work

 Give constructive feedback

 Encourage shared learning

 
 
By Claire Murray

10 Tips on How to Build Positive Work Relationships

 Get to know your team

 What are their strengths

 Listen and respect

 Be honest/open-builds trust

 Be supportive

 Ask good questions

 Give praise and encouragement

 Problem solve together

 Say thank you

 Lead by example

By Claire Murray

21 Statements on Empowering Your Employees

EMPOWERING EMPLOYEES

How true are these statements in your organisation?

[Where 10 is most true and 0 is least.]

1. The organisation has confidence in my abilities.



2. I am trusted and respected to do the job well.



3. I have autonomy in my job.



4. My ideas are listened to and where relevant, taken on board.



5. I receive positive and constructive feedback regarding my work.



6. I am involved in decision making for the business strategy.



7. My opinion is valued and I feel valued at work.



8. I am kept in the loop of what is happening in the organisation and understand the reasons why.



9. I am given the opportunity to develop my knowledge and skills.



10. I am given challenging work that develops my potential.



11. I am happy at work, have energy and enthusiasm to do a good job.



12. I am given the opportunity to look out as well as look in.



13. I excited about the organisation’s future.



14. I am given the opportunity to contribute to the organisation’s success.



15. I am recognised for doing a good job.



16. I feel appreciated and receive thanks for good work produced.



17. The environment I work in is positive, upbeat and morale is high.



18. I enjoy work; I can be myself and have fun learning, doing and becoming better.



19. I care about my job and I want to make a difference.



20. I feel I am achieving results for the organisation.



21. The company is fair and treats people equally.


By Claire Murray

10 Benefits of Empowering Your Workforce

1. Increases employee morale.

2. People have a more positive attitude.

3. People are energised and want to go that extra mile.

4. People are more engaged in what is happening in the organisation.

5. People will be more creative and innovative – generating ideas.

6. People are more loyal towards the company.

7. People are more motivated at work.

8. People are more efficient and productivity is improved.

9. People want to stay with the organisation – good for employee recruitment and retention.

10. People want to turn up for work, less absences.


By Claire Murray

Get what you want – SIMPLE!

I’ve always been a simple guy, that’s why when I organise and think about life I have to keep it SIMPLE!…………

I’ve been lucky so far and have managed to complete the exercise I’m about to explain in a few situations and by keeping things SIMPLE I’ve managed to pull a couple of aspirations off……….

I intend to continue setting my targets in life using the following method, as I know it works……….and if this helps even just one other person then it will be worth sharing it…….

So the SIMPLE process as promised…………

STEP 1 – Know what you want……

To get what you want out of life you first have to know what you want – that may sound obvious……but ask, do you really know what you want? Get yourself a piece of paper, and at the top write what you want out of life…………

If you did do what I suggest in step 1 you have just took a HUGE movement forward in achieving your aspiration……..

STEP 2 – Where am I now……

So, now you know what you want, the next step is possibly more difficult – at the bottom of the page, identify what your situation/status is at the moment in relation to your ultimate aspiration at the top, this may take more words!

You can now relax that’s all the hard work done, knowing what you want and recognising where you are is the difficult part – the SIMPLE part is now achieving this…….I’ll show you how SIMPLE this is:

STEP 3 - Just bridge the gap….

You now have a blank gap of paper in between 2 statements……that gap is the gap you must bridge to achieve your aspiration.

You must now, one link at a time make a chain between your bottom statement and your top……….

At this stage I think best to use an example; let’s say your aspiration was to be a member of the Scottish Parliament, your piece of paper may look like the following:

This may seem too SIMPLE, however this is how SIMPLE it is!!!! Who says it should be anymore difficult other than your own cynicism and society generated cynicism…………

There is a certain ‘I can do’ attitude required, and not the easier option that seems more intuitive to say I can’t or I’m unable to!

This exercise can be applied no matter what you want to achieve, you may want any of the following:

• To be Captain of golf club

• To be the boss of your department at work

• To have a successful marriage

• To have happy content children

• To be a big movie star!! :-)

• To own your own business

• To be a millionaire

No matter what your aspiration in life is, you can apply this exercise.

STEP 4 – Make it happen….

So that’s all the theory done in your mission, you now move onto the practical and more fulfilling aspect of achieving your aspiration.

You now take a leap from the ‘where you are now’ into the world of the first ‘bubble’ on your particular plan. Whilst making this first link in your chain of activity be a success, always keep in mind what the next link is…………..intuitively you’ll know when the time is right to take the leap to the next bubble, and you start the ‘making it happen’ process again, with the next link now in mind………….

If this sounds all too SIMPLE, then I’d like you to tell me how it’s not………..The only person that can stop this SIMPLE process work for you, is indeed you yourself.

Final Remark

We can all think of 1,200 reasons not to do something or make something happen, what this process requires is a mind set of finding a way of making things happen.

I’d suggest you try this process on a simple model first, lets say clearing a Credit Card balance or getting yourself fit enough to run 3 mile without stopping (if your unable to do so at the moment!).

Trust the methodology – and flow with it……….when you see that it works it just builds momentum!!!!

Positive Attitude

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone asked him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. 'You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man. " I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply..I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Author Unknown

Love and The Cabbie in New York City




Times Square, NYC

I was in New York the other day and rode with a friend in a taxi. When we got out, my friend said to the driver, "Thank you for the ride. You did a superb job of driving."

The taxi driver was stunned for a second. Then he said, "Are you a wise guy or something?"

"No, my dear man, and I'm not putting you on. I admire the way you keep cool in heavy traffic."

"Yeah," the driver said and drove off.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

I am trying to bring love back to New York," he said. "I believe it's the only thing that can save the city."

"How can one man save New York?"

"It's not one man. I believe I have made that taxi driver's day. Suppose he has 20 fares. He's going to be nice to those 20 fares because someone was nice to him. Those fares in turn will be kinder to their employees or shopkeepers or waiters or even their own families. Eventually the goodwill could spread to at least 1,000 people. Now that isn't bad, is it?"

"But you're depending on that taxi driver to pass your goodwill to others."

"I'm not depending on it," my friend said. "I'm aware that the system isn't foolproof so I might deal with ten different people today. If out of ten I can make three happy, then eventually I can indirectly influence the attitudes of 3,000 more."

"It sounds good on paper," I admitted, "but I'm not sure it works in practice."

"Nothing is lost if it doesn't. It didn't take any of my time to tell that man he was doing a good job. He neither received a larger tip nor a smaller tip. If it fell on deaf ears, so what? Tomorrow there will be another taxi driver I can try to make happy."

"You're some kind of a nut," I said.

"That shows how cynical you have become. I have made a study of this. The thing that seems to be lacking, besides money of course, for our postal employees, is that no one tells people who work for the post office what a good job they're doing."

"But they're not doing a good job."

"They're not doing a good job because they feel no one cares if they do or not. Why shouldn't someone say a kind word to them?"

We were walking past a structure in the process of being built and passed five workmen eating their lunch. My friend stopped. "That's a magnificent job you men have done. It must be difficult and dangerous work."

The workmen eyed my friend suspiciously.

"When will it be finished?"

"June", a man grunted.

"Ah. That really is impressive. You must all be very proud."

We walked away. I said to him, "I haven't seen anyone like you since The Man From LaMancha."

"When those men digest my words, they will feel better for it. Somehow the city will benefit from their happiness."

"But you can't do this all alone!" I protested. "You're just one man."

"The most important thing is not to get discouraged. Making people in the city become kind again is not an easy job, but if I can enlist other people in my campaign. . ."

"You just winked at a very plain-looking woman," I said.

"Yes, I know," he replied. "And if she's a schoolteacher, her class will be in for a fantastic day."

By Art Buchwald from Chicken Soup for the Soul

Using Facebook to Connect and Learn

By James McLuckie

When I say Facebook, what does it mean to you? Catching up with pals? Staying in touch with friends who moved to the other side of the world? Looking up people from school that used to send your heart all aflutter to see how much weight they’ve put on or how much hair they’ve lost?

Yes, Facebook provides the means to do all of that and it’s great entertainment. But did you know that many people use it to learn? To many, “learning” is the same as “education”, and in many people’s minds that means “school”. So why would we use a fun tool like Facebook to do something boring like go back to school?

Well, because Facebook, and other social media tools such as LinkedIn, YouTube and Twitter, make it easy to learn. There’s a whole new world of information sharing, relationship building and knowledge building happening online right now, and these applications provide the means to do it.

I will give you an example. When I first dipped my toe into Twitter I was seriously unimpressed. The fact that I had to limit myself to 140 characters was, to my mind, an outrage. How dare this thing suggest that my big, beautiful thoughts could be condensed in such a crude fashion! But then I started to post questions there, ask for advice, seek out subject matter experts. Before long, my questions were being answered, advice was being offered and these experts in their fields started to become friends. People, potential and possibilities had opened up, and I was thrilled because I knew I could learn something new every minute if I wanted to.

All of the best learning happens when we don’t think “I am learning”. It happens when we communicate, explore, and ask questions. You see, learning is not school. Learning is engagement, motivation, excitement, development and, oh yes, it is fun. That’s why social tools are such great mechanisms for learning. They allow people to communicate and connect. Here’s an example:

Pauline updates her profile with “Loving that Ladyhawke single”. Keith replies, “Never heard of her. What’s she like?” Pauline describes her music as 80s pop with a modern twist but, meanwhile, Peter has gone onto YouTube, found the video for the single, and posted that on Pauline’s profile so that Keith (and everyone else) can hear and see Ladyhawke for themselves. Keith comes back and says, “Great track. If you like that, you’ll love this Empire of the Sun number.” And so it goes ...

Now replace “Ladyhawke” in that scenario with something to do with a film, book, sport, car, holiday, washing machine, piece of homework ... anything you are interested in. See how easy it is to share and interact about things that interest and inspire you? And exchanges like the one above happen every second.

That’s why I am so excited about the possibilities of social media tools. They’ve already made a valuable contribution to my life and, the great thing is, they are just getting started. If you need me, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn. Oh, or I’ll be blogging.

(Incidentally, I would do yourselves a favour and actually do check out Ladyhawke on YouTube. “Paris is Burning”, in particuar, is a TUNE!)